Oven Fresh Dreams

It's just a feeling that I have and I can't believe that it's over now.

2011-10-22T20:02:00.000+08:00

I held on as long as I could. I waited for you to come back. Swear I waited as long as I could because I thought you were finally the one... I was wrong. It was just a feeling that I have. I. Only me. No YOU.

I can't believe that it is over now.

Eighteen Is More Than A Number

2011-10-21T23:24:00.000+08:00

I used to wish that I grow older faster. That I will be an adult right away. I think it was normal for kids to wish for such thing but now I kinda regret wishing for that (not that it really happened right away but I think you get my point). I am now 18 years old. I turned 18 last 4th of July. I am 18. Adult. No longer a minor. Still clueless...

Obviously everyone will turn 18. Everyone will get older. Everyone will have to face more complicated situations that will require more complicated thinking and decision making. When one turns 18, people expect that person to be more mature, more disciplined, more smarter, more better in everything... Okay, maybe people don't think that way but I do think that I should be better in everything that I am doing and about to do. My point is this, since I'm already 18 I should act my part as an adult. I will do it. I will be better. I will not let more responsibilities nor more piercing words bring me down.

I am 18 and I am should be a better me.

Eighteen is definitely more than a number.

Spontaneous and Unsure

2011-10-20T00:35:00.000+08:00

I have been spontaneously doing a lot of things and going to a lot of places. I have been spontaneously saying a lot of things. Without much realization, a lot of things spontaneously happened... Thinking about them makes me regret and stupid. Somehow they made me feel that I am not that matured yet. Also not yet decided on what to do with my life. Though I have been spontaneous lately, the future part of my life is greatly unplanned and undecided yet. I cannot act spontaneously about it. It must take a lot of thinking and soul searching to be able to arrive with a decision.

Thinking starts now. Soul searching starts... Unsure yet.

August 17, 2011

2011-08-17T01:00:00.000+08:00

Got this picture from tumblr. This picture has about 5,000 notes, meaning this picture had been reblogged and liked 5,000 times. About 5,000 people around the globe was able to relate their experiences to this picture. Isn't it funny to know that what you feel is universal? Isn't it funny to know that you are not the only one who experiences such dilemma in life?

5,000 people felt what I felt. 5,000 people had the same experience. I was able to connect to 5,000 people. But why am I still feeling this way?

I'm terrible at capturing my thoughts but for this particular situation in my life, no words can be used to explain what I'm feeling...

2011-08-12T22:52:00.002+08:00

2011-06-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

There are just times when I hate everything that my parents say...

When saying 'I like you' leads to another start of something new

2011-05-16T01:51:00.000+08:00

This is weird. You are weird. You care too much about your privacy to the point that you wont tell me even your birthday. I care about you and I want to know everything about you so that we can be best friends, yeah the one that you like. But now I am clueless on how I can be your best friend, or even just a friend.

May 12, 2011

2011-05-12T23:04:00.000+08:00

I do not know why all of a sudden I felt this urge to write and talk about what is on my mind. My thoughts. My contemplations. My beliefs. My issues. Everything... They are in disarray. Pieces of different puzzles.

I do not know if I should believe everything that you say nor continue talking to you for that matter. I just hope that you do not take advantage of the trust that I have for you, the respect, the loyalty. You said respect is the most important thing that a person should give and have. I totally agree with you. Swear. I just hope that you are not playing...

11:11pm

February 21, 2011

2011-03-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

Ewan ko. Gusto kita. Gustung-gusto. Alam kong gusto kita at hindi ako magtataka kung alam mo rin yun dahil halatang-halata naman siguro. Noong huling nag-usap tayo ng seryoso tinanong mo kung gaano katagal pa akong mag-aaral. Biniro kita na hindi na ako mag-aaral, sinabihan mo lang ako ng “ulol” noon pero alam ko naman na iniisip mo lang ang kapakanan ko. Sinagot kita ng seryoso, sinabi ko na Veterinary of Medicine ang kurso ko, tinanong mo kung gaano katagal ‘yun at sinagot ko naman ng maayos. Anim na taon. Anim na taon ang sinabi ko sa’yo at tumawa ka lang at sinabing “ang tagal”. Mula noon hindi na tayo nag-usap pa ulit ng seryoso...

Kakatapos ko pa lang ng high school noong tinanong mo ako ng ganoon. Ngayon mag-iisang taon na ako sa kolehiyo, naisip ko lang na kung tutuusin parang nag-propose ka na. Walangya ka bakit hindi mo na lang ako diniresto?! POTEK!

I created this post last February 21, 2011, as the title suggests, and totally forgot about it. I made this when I was pretty much bored and had nothing else to do but reminisce the things that happened in my past including our old and tattered relationship. Doing so, I made a realization which is stated above. I forgot to mention that after that conversation, we never talked again... Anyway I realized or should I say I made such generalization because you've told me that you were preparing for your future. Okay enough. I just feel weird because all of a sudden you made an effort to talk to me again. Hello is it because you're of legal age already and have a job?

When someone tells me I can't do anything, I don't listen anymore.

2011-02-28T00:16:00.001+08:00

I do this not as a sign of disrespect for the person telling me such thing but, as a respect for myself. At the end of the day, the only thing that is left for me is myself and my dignity. People would only respect me if I respect first my self.

I hate to admit this, but sometimes I hear the most discouraging words from the people who are most important to me. It hurts, a lot actually. But I believe that if I want something badly no one and nothing could stop me. No one could discourage me.

Most often than not their discouraging words get through me and I would just let a curse out of my mouth, of course not aloud... When I think about it, the feeling is really disappointing and frustrating. I hate to be idealistic but, when I watch movies or simply just a television show and I see other people doing the opposite it hurts me even more. I sometimes wish that the people around me would also do the same.

I do not want other people to experience this because it is really not fair... Do not let anyone get through you and tell you that you can not do anything or you can not be that good at anything, do not listen to them. Do not also ever think that you are the only one experiencing it, you are not alone.

When someone tells me I can't do anything, I don't listen anymore.

Reflection

2011-02-01T20:17:00.001+08:00

I admit that I am not the most religious and holy person on earth nor just religious enough to proudly say that I practice my religion. I am also the person who will most likely not attend all the Sunday masses and holiday masses. I've also never experienced to complete the simbang gabi. I also sometimes think that having a religion is just part of humans' way of conforming to the norms but nonetheless, I've never lost my faith in Him.

I do not do this often, I do not really take account of the blessings that I receive. I am doing this now to thank You. I know that You know that I've been in the stage where I questioned my faith and Your guidance. Thank You for never letting me down.

Thank You for all the blessings that You have given me, my family and friends.

Thank You for the guidance.

Thank You for having a lot of patience.

Thank You for not leaving me.

Finally, thank You because You're there. Always.

I cannot put into words nor sum the thoughts and thank you's that I want You to receive and hear... I completely cannot understand why all of a sudden I am like this... God, I owe You a lot and I will do everything to follow the right path.

"Yes, of course, you want to control so everything happens in just the way you want it. But at the end of the day, we control nothing, - it's all in God's hands, - has always been, and will always be. So, do what you can, and then let go, and let God handle the rest."

Time to be a Miser

2011-01-13T21:52:00.001+08:00

Money has never been a problem for my family (I think) and I do not want to abuse that fact so I've decided to save my money, my allowance.

I've already labeled several letter envelops where I would put my money -- gadgets, school, travel, books, clothes, shoes, savings(bank). I think this is already a good start considering my struggle in spending and buying unnecessary things. Also I really do not have a large allowance per week because I only have classes from Tuesday to Friday, four days lang with only 130php a day...

Last semester I also said to myself this, that I will save my money but the "saving" really did not happen. I tried listing several schemes on thrift-ing but nothing really worked because I never became faithful to my plan.

Time to think of a good way to save money!

This second semester I will change, I MUST.

2011-01-02T15:17:00.002+08:00

Women are running towards drugstores to get the latest whitening product. And even though they’re already contented with their tanned skin, they’ll still befriend Belo and Calayan. Because that’s what the society wants - skin as white as snow, flawless and seemingly pure. Men clamp their mouths shut, unwilling to utter any emotion, giving out an impression that they’re tough, they’re heartless. Because that’s what the society says - men should be masculine, fearless, void of any emotion. People are so engrossed with the needs and wants of the society that we forget our own needs and wants. We forget who we really are and instead, we become mere clones of each other. We become prisoners of the standards that we have set.

Instead of desperately trying to defy gravity, maybe we should defy society instead.

-Ate Pao

1-1-11

2011-01-01T01:13:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!

More food! No wonder I gained a lot of weight. No time to exercise! I choose not to have time for exercise! HAHA! Fail! Anyway, I will sleep now because we, family, are going to watch this later

Bye!

Online relationship

2010-12-31T01:24:00.001+08:00

Having a relationship online is, I think, hard and impossible. Online. The people involved have never seen each other in person. They communicate through chat, e-mails, text messages, and rarely through calls. Sometimes the use of webcam is the easiest way to see each other, but what if webcam is not available or the person on the other line of the relationship is not real?

I've always wondered why you, I'm talking now about a particular person (a girl actually), keep rubbing on my face your online relationship. Like what the hell is your problem? I do not have any intention of 'snatching' your boyfriend, ONLINE BOYFRIEND. You've never even seen your so-called boyfriend in person! Stop believing everything that he says or his 'relatives' say. Do you still have a life or do you just sit all day in front of your computer and wait for your boyfriend to go online? Go back to school and don't waste your time! And one last thing, for Pete's sake stop talking to me using your "online language" of shortcut-ting every word and often times emitting letters to make the word sound cuter. It's irritating!

My advice, online world is very tricky and not everything is reliable so be careful.

2011

2010-12-30T19:31:00.000+08:00

2011: Another 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 3,153,600 seconds of struggle, growth, progress & experience.

PRE-NEW YEAR ENTRY

2010-12-30T00:25:00.004+08:00

Dear 2010,

I know that you are about to leave and be replaced by 2011 and I know that 2011 is excited to take your place on the calendar so here I am to share to you the things I've experienced from you, 2010.

This year is a mixture of sweet and bitter experiences.

Sweet because I was able to do and accomplished a lot of things. I graduated from high school and got accepted at UPLB, went to Hong Kong for the summer, finished the first semester as a freshman at UPLB with an almost-Honor-Roll standing, got a Fibrella umbrella, got a triathlon watch, got a Speedo wristwatch, earned a lot of friends, moved on, was able to keep in touch with former classmates, got my HS yearbook, learned how to use a planner, joined VetSoc, celebrated my 17th birthday, attended my first eye ball/meet up, got my first taste of vodka, earned money,read a lot of books,laughed a lot, cried tears of joy, giggled, got excited, was able to celebrate many holidays with my family, and many many more things that I cannot remember at the moment. 2010, you made me happy. A lot happy.

But of course, life is not always about happiness and living on cloud nine. I've also got my fair share of life's bitterness. Lola Gloria died, Tita Cita died, iPod got lost, first Fibrella umbrella was stollen, was not able to save money, cried, almost gave up, gave up, crammed, procrastinated, lost my faith but thankfully regained it, felt lost, felt sad, felt insecured, gained weight, got hooked on Facebook, got hooked on Tumb1r, lost track of direction, cursed a lot, got angry, got jealous, thought of something bad, asked for revenge, got lazy, did not care about others, and many more bad things that a 17 year old can do (minus the sex, suicide, drugs, and other rebellious things).

2010 you have been very fair. I do not want anything from you, I do not demand any extravagant memory from you. I believe that everything will happen at the right time and everything will eventually fall into its right place. I just ask you one thing, please tell your friend 2011 to be just like you. Fair. Kind. Fair and kind.

Always hoping,
Lali

It's official!

2010-12-26T02:50:00.002+08:00

I officially have a messed up biological clock. I only feel sleepy on the wee hours of the night and sleep until afternoon. It's freaking hard because I don't know what will happen to me when school starts again, everyday my classes starts at 7am. I CANNOT WAKE UP IN THE MORNING ANYMORE LSFMWOFIJWOFJMWLMFWLNLFMPQFKWEFMK!

2010-12-22T10:48:00.001+08:00

Earlier today I finished reading Bob Ong’s Ang Mga Kaibigan Ni Mama Susan. I finished reading it at around 7am today but I started reading it last night and reached the really scary parts during the wee hours, 3am.

I really cannot explain why I was so scared. Perhaps it was the ambiance. I was at St. Therese chapel, dun kasi nakaburol si Tita Cita. Perhaps because I was the only one awake and I was seated few inches away from my Aunt’s coffin. Perhaps was the graves surrounding the chapel. But perhaps it was just my imagination. I do not look at the face of the dead when he or she is in the coffin. I’d rather faint than do that. I imagine them (the ones in the coffin) still alive and will stare back when I look at them. And I imagined my aunt moving inside the coffin.

I’d settle with the last reason.

So yeah I am indeed crazy.

I stopped reading at around 3am and just forced myself to sleep.

Defining the boundary...

2010-12-22T02:40:00.003+08:00

I've never fully understood why telling a lie is wrong, why telling a lie is considered a sin and yet many people still do it. Some people even consider that telling a WHITE LIE is alright. I do not know if 'white lie' is an exemption which I assume that no such concept exists.

Isn't telling a lie to 'correct' a previous lie wrong? How come many people consider telling a white lie correct?

I'D RATHER BE's...

2010-12-11T22:54:00.005+08:00

There are just some things in this world that are really ironic and unexplainable or at least sounds rhetorical. There are a lot of instances when I for example would rather be in someone else's shoes and think that what I felt and experienced was not normal and not relate-able. But of course I am wrong, again.

I've thought of several situations, win-or-lose situations, that anyone can answer and does not require scientific studies to defend or prove (the answer/decision varies for every person).

I HIGHLY DO NOT RECOMMEND MY ANSWERS TO ANYONEEEEE.

I'd rather be homeless and frugal than be rich and lonely.
I'd rather be poor but happy than be rich but lonely.
I'd rather give away my money to poor people than have it all to myself.
I'd rather spend my Christmas with needy people than be alone.
I'd rather live with my parents than live alone.
I'd rather not have all the things in the world and be friendless.
I'd rather be the friendless loser than the popular bitch.
I'd rather give up all my material things and not my education.
I'd rather graduate college late than not at all.
I'd rather stay in the Philippines, specifically LB, than live somewhere else away from my family.
I'd rather be an optimist and not a pessimist.

EXCERPT FROM MY ASSIGNMENT

2010-11-23T23:18:00.003+08:00

…I love reading books, listening to music, and blogging. I find a lot of help in releasing my stress and insecurities in blogging because I am not the type of person who confines her problems to her friends. I also get to reflect on the things that happened to me on a certain day or ponder on my decision. And of course I love animals! I love dogs and pandas the most. I chose to become a veterinarian because I want to spread the love of animals here in the Philippines and most of all cure the extinction of pandas worldwide. I am also not easily affected by criticisms and I take them objectively. In school I tend to be the leader and I try not to procrastinate.

But honestly, I really do not know how to describe my self. I think I still do not really know myself that well. I still sometimes get surprised with the things I say or even the decisions I make. Perhaps what affected my personality most is when I had dengue. My situation was so crucial then that I had to be ambulanced from LBDH to St. Luke’s on the wee hours. I stayed at the hospital for four weeks or so and after that experience a lot of things changed. I forgot a lot of the things that happened in my past, it’s like I have amnesia or something like that. After the experience my memory got weak, I guess. I can only remember everything, every detail, for only a short span of time that is why when there was a question in the recitation class that who can remember their childhood I can not answer. I also get sick often after the experience.

I am happy with my state now as a person. I am stable and contented with all the things that I have. If there are things that I should change in my personality I think I would realize this sooner or later and probably change them instantly, but right now I am happy.

2010-11-16T20:43:00.003+08:00

Whenever I see you, you make me wonder why you're here. Whenever I see you, I always feel that there is a connection between the two of us. It makes me wonder why we are still not good friends when in fact I feel that I already know you.

Ever since I saw I want to talk to you. Every time that I see you I want to approach you or at least say hi, but I can't and I just can't. You make me long to see you every day but just disappoints me...

I've felt like this ever since I met you.

homo sapiens sapiens

2010-11-06T22:50:00.002+08:00

Did you know that Homo sapiens sapiens literally translates to man wise wise? Yes, that's how proud humans are.

Minsan lang naman...

2010-07-19T19:27:00.000+08:00

Minsan naiisip kita...

Minsan naiisip ko na sana 'di na lang nawala kung ano man 'yung meron noon satin. Minsan naiisip ko na kasalanan ko rin naman kasi kaya nawala. Minsan naiisip ko na sana bumalik tayo sa dati. Minsan din tuwing naiisip kita gusto ko na lang umiyak. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero ganoon talaga nararamdaman ko. Tuwing nakikita ko pangalan mo, may effect pa rin pala sakin. Masakit pa rin pala kahit ang tagal-tagal na... Minsan lang naman kita maisip pero sa tuwing naiisip kita lahat ng nangyari satin bumabalik. Flashbacks. Tuloy-tuloy. Tipong hinahain sa harap mo lahat; past, present, at ang future sana natin na punung-puno ng possibilities.

Ngayon naiisip kita. Ngayon naiisip ko rin ang lahat ng nangyari satin at kung bakit tayo nawala. Ngayon naiisip ko rin na umiyak na lang. Ngayon wala na ang flashbacks ng buhay natin, buhay ko na lang na mag-isa.

Friends

2010-03-27T18:30:00.000+08:00

The sleepover with Lara at Maica was really fun! I enjoyed it a lot, like super...

I just hope that that will not be the last... I'm not being madrama, I'm just saying what's on my mind. The reality, the truth. We're about to enter college and go on different paths, but I hope, and I say/type this from the bottom of my heart, that we will not forget each other.

Despite the things that are happening in our barkada (if that is still what you call it), you two stick with me. Aww. Mushy na. HAHA. I really don't know how to express my gratitude to the both of you. Ahhh. Okay. I don't know what else to say :)

To Lara and Maica, thank you. You both are the best!

Monday, March 22, 2010

2010-03-22T17:53:00.000+08:00

Last flag ceremony at Rural High School, and probably for my entire student life. It was not that special. Wala lang gusto ko lang sabihin na Seniors nag-lead kanina. haha

So... Summer is here and I'm bored. Not really bored but I'm starting to be a slacker :) though I'm really trying not to be one. There. I'm currently reading the book A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and I'm like not yet done with the first chapter of it because of... I don't know. Haha. Perhaps I'll read it during the -ber months instead so that the ambiance would be perfect(?).

Bigla ko na lang naalala na ang dami ko pa palang libro na hindi nababasa. There's The Time Traveler's Wife, my sister gave that to me last Chirstmas. Errr. 2008 Christmas? No! 2009 New Year. I did not have the chance to finish it because of my 4th year busy schedule.

Here are the other books that wasn't able to read this year even though I have a copy of it:

The Host by Stephenie Meyer
KikoMachineKomix (1,2,4,5) by Manix Abrera
My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Last Song by Nicolas Sparks
The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
Pugad Baboy (7&8) by Pol Medina Jr.
Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom
The Choice by Nicolas Sparks

So far ayan lang naaalala ko :) Good luck to me!

No more classes!

2010-03-19T17:56:00.001+08:00

Yes! It's official! No more classes! No more boring lectures! No more requirements, ugh well except on Pinoy, but that's beyond the point. Graduation is near and summer is here! Vacation baby!

I can't wait to go to Hong Kong and live a life that is not time-bound. I want to stay up late and wake up during the afternoons. Live a life with no assignments, requirements and exams! I really can't wait for vacation.

Excited? Sooper! The suspense is killing me!

Want a souvenir from HK? comment it here... down there o

Settled in

2010-03-18T18:30:00.000+08:00

Just transferred my blog entries from another blog site :)

Welcome!

2010-03-18T17:42:00.000+08:00

I welcome myself here at Multiply! hahaha...

But seriously, I made this account because of June. He said that he posts his blogs here. I want to read them that's why I'm here. Reasonable right?

Enough said. I'm still figuring out this Multiply thing-y controls. FYI, I made a FB account when I think everyone already has. Laging napapag-iwanan. But it's okay, I don't mind. I don't really like following the norms. Hmmmm. There :)

Ilocos trip!

2010-02-10T17:25:00.000+08:00

Yes! Finally! Ilocos trip! Hanggang Sabado ng hapon! Yes!

bothered.

2010-02-09T22:33:00.004+08:00

nakahiga lang ako kanina sa kwarto ni Mommy. hindi pumasok. may sakit. nakatingin sa palabas sa tv. tumatakbo ang isip. bigla na lang uminit yung upper lip ko. tumayo ako. pagtingin ko naagos na pala yung dugo galing sa ilong. hindi ako eksaheradong tao. diction. tamang gamit ng salita. naagos kasi literal na naagos. parehong kamay ko ang ginamit ko para mapigil yung pagdurugo. nagpunta ako sa lababo para linisin yung ilong ko pero walang nangyari. tuloy-tuloy lang sa pagagos yung dugo. kumuha ako ng maraming tissue para linisin at patigilin na rin ang ilong ko sa pagdurugo. matagal bago tumigil yung pagdurugo.

ang punto ko? matagal na panahon na ang nakalipas mula sa huling nosebleed ko. natatandaan ko nagnonosebleed lang ako pag may sobrang lala akong sakit. nakahiga lang ako noong dumugo kanina ang ilong ko. hindi mainit ang paligid. infact naka-aircon yung kwarto ng nanay ko. disturbing lang...

a secured future

2010-02-09T22:11:00.000+08:00

ready for college :)

2010-02-03T21:52:00.005+08:00

Okay. Reality check and update. I failed the UPCAT, well as far as I know I didn’t pass the quota for Political Science and that’s the only course I applied to. So there. Scarcity, right? Anyway....

Earlier this day I asked myself the question, “San kaya ako mag-aaral?” Of course my school is there to save my butt and my future and also a slot in UPLB’s Veterinary Medicine but what if I choose not to study there? Do you get my point? What if I really got tired of studying, after all it has already been 14 years since I started studying. There are our family businesses that are waiting to be managed by someone from the family. Instant entrepreneur pa ako kung sakali.

Stupid ideology. I think I'm psychologically sick. HAHA. What a stupid thought right? But honestly during the past years my brain started to function more and more slowly. Headaches occur more often and flickering of the eyes get more distracting... I started to lack interest in almost everything. Whatever.

Life? So far? Miserable.

p.s. if there is someone who reads my blog... hello! LOL. make yourself known please

God is good!

2010-01-18T21:25:00.001+08:00

God is this your sign? Getting my hopes up again! I wont tell my parents yet though. Not yet, it is still too early...

Smile by Charlie Chaplin

2010-01-18T20:48:00.002+08:00

Smile.

That's what I should do tomorrow in school. Though I didn't pass the UPCAT, I know God have plans for me. Better plans. I will not be sad and do sour graping. I will not fool myself by saying that "scarcity kasi e". I know in myself even from the start that I have a low possibility of qualifying in UPCAT. I had also received a sign from God that I will not see my name on the list. I dreamt about it and really got scared ever since. All I want for now is to find a school for college. I'd be greatly thankful if UP will give me a chance, another chance.

Yes I admit it that I somehow feel sad and "outcast" on my batchmates' celebrations. It hurts too to see other people's name in the list and not find yours. I also felt/feel stupid. Failure is kicking in. I almost cried when I did not find my name on the website. I also almost cried when I told my dad...

Okay I'm starting to feel depressed. :(

I failed

2010-01-18T17:15:00.002+08:00

I failed the UPCAT. Now I don't know what to do. I didn't fail. It's just that I didn't pass for my courses. Scarcity. Ugh. I'm frustrated! I want to take Veterinary Medicine. Ha! Mom and Dad will go to UPLB tomorrow to check if there are available slots. I wish they could fix this. Please please please

it's a good thing

2010-01-16T18:09:00.000+08:00

it's a good thing only a few people know about this blog. thank you!

The Prophet

2010-01-15T21:48:00.004+08:00

During the Christmas break I read the Filipino translation of the book The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. It is composed of 26 different essays(?) life. So there.

One part talks about the way we, people, should talk/pray to God. According to the author we should not pray to God and say things like "I wish *insert wish here*" instead we should just say thanks to Him. God knows what is best for us.

Ang Maykapal ay hindi nakikinig sa inyong mga salita maliban na lamang kung Siya sa Kanyang sarili ang umuusal niyon sa pamamagitan ng inyong mga labi.

For the upcoming UPCAT results, I leave it all to You. I admit it that I'm really scared and nervous right now. But I have to move forward and face whatever happens next. Tatanggapin ko ng buong-buo kung ano man ang ibibigay mo sa akin. Salamat ;)

shit

2010-01-15T21:02:00.002+08:00

Over the last weeks I felt really left out by the barkada that I have, or so I thought. I can't relate to them. We seldom talk anymore. Is it because we have different sections? Difference in schedule perhaps?

It hurts me to see them everyday and don't talk to them. I mean it is very different now. Lumalayo na nga ata loob ko sa kanila. It really sunk in when the incident with C happened. She also felt left out... Hard to explain. I remember before the Christmas break, nakasabay ko si Q in the jeepney on the way to Vega. Ugh can't even explain why I felt so bad! Okay. I'll try. Imagine, the gang hanging out in Chowking and she didn't even bother to ask me if I want to go! I remember asking her where was she going and she just said Vega and smiled at me! Effff... Sorry M for I was already annoyed because of her and even got more annoyed when you said no to my dinner invitation. Sayo tuloy ako nagtampo... At that very moment I wanted to cry but I can't because I was already on my way to Robinsons and it would be a scandal and shameful act if I'll cry in public.

When 4th year started I already sensed that all of these will happen. And all of them did.

I really don't know. Is it just me?

Hello world!

2010-01-11T20:31:00.002+08:00

I've made up my mind that I'll enter college and graduate high school with decent grades. So yeah I'm sticking with my Political Science course or Veterinarian Medicine course. Bigatin! HAHA...

2009-11-07T23:48:00.001+08:00

Still contemplating on what I should do... This sucks! I really don't want to enter college anymore!

JK

I'm sorry

2009-11-06T00:44:00.006+08:00

I'm sorry to my parents especially to my dad. I promised you that i'll do better this last year of my high school but i guess i can't keep that promise any more. I'm sorry also to my mum. You guys never pressured me in my studies but i think you don't deserve what i'm doing. I don't take my studies seriously and all. I've never felt this stupid before in my life. Math and Science were my best subjects when I was in elementary and i was a consistent honor student then and I always have perfect test scores. I'm sorry for my low grades. Even I can't stand my low grades any more , they degrade my self confidence somehow. I'm sorry I can't keep up on your expectations, I know you have high expectations on me and even my old school still expects a lot from me.

Daddy I know that you always misses us whenever you travel abroad to work. And it's hard having you not around. I want to repay you for your hardwork. I want to make you proud. I love you so much and I don't want to fail you. I've already broken my promise to you and I don't know how to make up to it. In about two years your contract in AMPCO will expire and you will lose you job, by then I'm only a 2nd yr college student. I want to enter UP so that it would be a lot easier for you to pay my tuition and stuff. I don't want to enter San Beda's school of law because it's a private school and expensive. I know that you will have a hard time paying for my school bills.

I'm sorry. That's all I can say right now. I'm having a hard time choosing my course for college and i don't know what to do. I honestly don't have a clue... I want you guys to be proud of me. I don't want to be a failure. Our family is experiencing a lot of bad things lately and I don't want to add insult to the fire. My God please help me! I really don't know what to do. I've never told anybody that I'm really really really having a hard time right now. I can't tell you guys. I don't want to worry you. Please God help me :(

Isn't life boring without all of human's stupidness?

2009-10-12T21:42:00.000+08:00

Events will continually repeat unless one person learns from it and every mistake gives one the opportunity to learn. You see it’s not a matter of how many times you repeat that same friggin’ scene in your life, what matters is how you face it and how you stand up after that fall. Learn from your experiences and don’t let a mistake pull you down... Peripetea may happen but still it's how you face that change that matters.

And isn't life boring without all of humans' stupidness?

SHITTY

2009-10-06T21:53:00.001+08:00

Happy Fiesta!

2009-10-05T20:45:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, October 04, 2009, was the festival here at our barangay. The celebration was very very fine even though some places here are still flooded and only few people really prepared food or made handa.

My classmates (Jello, Bea, June, Clare, Canaya, Vianca) came at around 10am. Yeah they were early because we also have a project to do :D so there. Chismisan lang ng chismisan. We did a lot of youtube yesterday, laughtrip. First we watched this weird guy (I don't know if he's Filipino, I hope he's not) sing Sweet Dreams of Beyonce and hell he was just plain crazy! Next the blond baby who sang Bahay Kubo, yes he really is blond :P And last but not the least was JESSA BELL! She was just hilarious! She sings fine it's just that she looks funny. Ugh can't even explain it :]]]]]]]]]]]

Of course because it is a fiesta there were lots of food so foodtrip naman kami. Then Betina came and we had more fun! We even fooled Kuya Jerome through Y!M HAHAHAHAHA! At 6pm John Gab, Pritzy, Kuya Aart, and Anton came and according to them they were really hungry that's why they went to my house :]]]] it's okay though, fiesta naman ee
next time i'll post the links of the videos we watched yesterday....

Amen.

2009-10-03T14:37:00.000+08:00

Back tumbling :D

Satisfying

2009-09-30T22:22:00.003+08:00

During Literature time June told me that he and our other batchmates registered yesterday to be volunteers in the relief goods giving/asking/collecting donations of the University Student Council (USC) for the victims of the flood caused by typhoon Ondoy. I really wanted to participate! So what I did was after Ma'am Pearl (swimming coach) told me that I can't use the pool because it is still dirty I went to Vega, where the USC registration booth is located, instead and registered to be a volunteer and was given an ID. At Vega I saw Betina, Lara and Kuya Aart already there and packing goods that are needed to be distributed...

Lara and I was tasked to collect money for the victims of typhoon Ondoy. We walked around Grove to solicit some money from by-passers; students, UPLB workers, vendors, etc.. We even went to LB square (place with lots of bars and restaurants) and solicited money from alumni of our school! Weird though, every time we saw an alumnus of UPRHS he would always ask "Sino na principal n'yo ngayon?" HAHA! But it's okay, part of the volunteer work is to always maintain patience and entertain/do-"salestalk" to the people you're asking money from so that he will be pursued to give money. Big time naman ang mga Ruralites 'pag naka-graduate na e. So there, we collected a big amount of money and I was proud of what I have done.

The experience was very satisfying and fulfilling! I really love the feeling of helping other people. Also the people from USC are very kind to me and to my batchmates, the ambiance at their booth is really light and it seems that what we're doing is normal; pure intentions.

I really have to sleep now. Lara and I recruited more volunteers :D We'll go back tomorrow to help in relief goods giving. Classes are shortened tomorrow so we'll be able to have lots of time to help the needy. Yey!

I'm proud to be a Filipino

2009-09-28T22:57:00.000+08:00

Blinded and Overwhelmed

2009-09-28T22:37:00.002+08:00

I forgot that I wasn't the only person in this world...

Typhoon Ondoy left a massive destruction here in our barangay. I wasn't aware of it until this afternoon. Mum called me and told me to get ready for I will have my hair cut at Metro Hair and Mang Pidio will pick me up. Our house is located near the barangay's public elementary school, I was shocked at the view that I saw. People made the school as their evacuation center! Clothes were hung on the railings of the stairs and rooms were turned into homes.

I was blinded and overwhelmed by what happened to me during the Candy Fair that I forgot my neighbors' situations. Sorry if I didn't care at first :[

My Candy Fair'09 Experience.

2009-09-28T13:52:00.004+08:00

Last Saturday I went to the most awaited Candy Fair with my friends, Maica, Nika, Quennie, Meeren, & Kalene. I woke up 7am that day, I over slept because it was really cold, and found a few txt messages from my friends asking if we would go on with our plan because the weather was really crazy. Yeah, we pursued the plan.

I picked up Maica at her place and then picked up Kalene and Meeren at Jollibee LB, time then was 8:30am. Reached Calamba at almost 9am and picked up Quennie and Nika...

Rain started pouring hard.

The travel at SLEX was short because there were few cars on the road. Kwentuhan pa nga kami ng kwentuhan kasi parang wala lang talaga samin yung nangyayari. Reached EDSA and the cars were not moving, stayed in the same road for nearly an hour. That's the time that we started to panick. Traffic was HELL. Our driver searched for other routes, succeeded looking for an alternative but failed for the traffic was really heavy. The rain kept pouring and pouring really hard then. Our mothers were keeping us updates on the traffic and what places are flooded. Kalene's mum kept on txting her and asked us to pray, so we did. We saw children literally swimming in the flood and were amazed at them.

1pm: We were still stuck in traffic. Missed lunch and started to feel upset at the situation... Vendors passed by our car. Meeren was really hungry that time so we bought water, cheese ring, and tempura from the vendors taking the situation for granted... Joking, we thought that when we reach the Candy Fair we would be the only Candy girls there and all the Candy Cuties would be ours. HAHA! Hey, we're just being optimistic! :P

2pm: I thought of checking my Twitter account to see if there are updates on the fair. Hell I was right! According to the Candy people the fair would be cut short at 4pm. At first I hesitated to tell my friends the news, but eventually I told them. I was almost in tears just thinking that wala na kaming maabutan dun sa fair. All of us wanted to cry at that moment because we really don't know what to do... I sent a message at the Candy people through Twitter but lucky us they wont reply.

3pm: Updates from our mums are still pouring in. Floods at Calamba and QC were getting worse. While we were in C5 near the bridge going to Pasig my Mum called and told me to go home and forget about the fair, I literally didn't know what to reply to her! I jut said to her, bahala na. Traffic was really heavy that time and the rain was still crazy... But hey we were still optimists that time! Joking we said that when we reach the venue we would cry so that the people at the fair would comfort us and give us freebies! HAHA!

4pm: Time passed so fast and traffic somehow let us go to the fair. We reached the venue past 4pm. Went to the registration booth and were told that the program was about to end. Honestly I felt a great relief when we reached the venue but sadness and panghihinayang really over threw relief. We told the people at the registration booth that we traveled for 7hours, left Laguna at 9am and reached the venue past 4pm. We were the last to arrive.

Saw AJ Perez and Dino Imperial on stage and felt happy. Saw the other Candy Cuties and felt even happier! HAHA! But I was expecting that since there were really few girls who came compared to the pass fairs, the staff of Candy would really be hands on and would entertain the Candy girls. I don't know, I guess I just set my hopes up and expected so much that they would comfort us. The program came to an end, we asked for autographs and took pictures with the Candy Cuties. I think that just lasted for like 20minutes... Before leaving I wrote on the Candy wall, the people there interviewed us and asked where we came from and all. They were amazed to what we did, so as a little token of appreciation told us that they would give us the charm bracelet of Candy. I was really happy when they told us that because one of my charms got lost! Sumabit ata sa tricycle. Boooooooo! That didn't happen, bawal na raw kasi magbigay. I don't know. I felt bitter after that. Tumagal lang kami run kasi bumili pa ako ng shake. Left the event after 30mins.

While traveling home we got stranded in Makati, we were on the very same spot for one fucking hour! Again we missed another meal, dinner. My friends were really hungry that time. Our Mums again texted and called us. They told us to stop at the nearest gasoline station or find a hotel and go home the next morning because the flood was really high in Calamba and that the traffic is not moving. Thank Heavens we were near SM Makati and that the cars on the outer lane started moving and changing routes so we followed them and went to SM :D from that moment I felt blessed because we found sanctuary at SM Makati. From 7:30pm untill 11pm(?) we stayed there and reached LB past 12am.

Untill today I feel bitter whenever I remember what happened during the Candy Fair.

Cand Fair tomorrow! I can't wait :D

2009-09-25T23:29:00.001+08:00

Paper quilling is killing me! HAHA

2009-09-23T19:46:00.001+08:00

Tired

2009-09-22T23:27:00.001+08:00

Yeah right! Haha

2009-09-17T11:16:00.000+08:00

ang sabi ng karamihan binubuo kayo ng mga matatalinong estudyante. sure na daw na may slot kayo sa UP at may record kayo na 100% passing sa UPCAT.may ...mga advance classes kayo and marami kayong events. ang ibang tao impresyon sa inyo ay mayabang at feeling niyo superior kayo sa laht kahit wala kayong ginagawa. fun na mga tao kayo at mahilig makipagchikahan sa mga schoolmates and friends niyo. malimit kayo makita ng mga tao pakalat kalat sa campus hanggang gabi.

SICK

2009-09-16T21:46:00.001+08:00

Yes!

2009-09-15T23:16:00.003+08:00

First quarter is officially over! Finally I can swim again! I miss Baker Hall's 12ft. pool :D I miss my coach's freaking irritating voice and whistles. HAHA. I miss swimming :D

Tomorrow is a Wednesday, hopefully I'll swim.

Card Giving Day

2009-09-14T16:28:00.002+08:00

Uh. I really can't forgive myself for the grades that I have this quarter. Soooo LOW. Swear I'm really not a grade conscious person and I'm quite satisfied with the grades that I have because I don't study, at all. But the hell what would my parents say? Ugh...

I still don't receive any pressures from my parents but this time I think I'd be getting some, A LOT, SOON... Karma is kicking in.

Your Voice Was The Soundtrack of My Summer

2009-09-11T20:53:00.001+08:00

Indeed your voice was the soundtrack of my summer :]

Physics-less

2009-09-08T14:13:00.003+08:00

Good day!

No Econ, no Physics! Yes! It still feels like REST day! Light acads, well not really... Uh, there'd be a long exam tomorrow on Filipino (6 short stories and those 12 freaking authors). Long Exam on Math 5 (Statistics), there'd be quizzes too...

Stat really went well this morning. No pressures. The lessons now are easier compared to the lessons last quarter, at least for me. And Trigo! Oh Trigo! I love Trigonometry! I've never enjoyed Math4A like this before! I still laugh a lot in class but I don't know, I guess I'm just feeling lucky today... I hope not *crossesfingers*

I'm currently at the school library :D blogging all the way! haha... I discovered that Facebook is not blocked in the library, but I can't play RestoCity and PetSoc because the connection is really stupid. Oh well, I should just be thankful for my school has an internet connection and of course computers.

D:

2009-09-07T19:09:00.000+08:00

She: Friends?

He: Friends

Last Shot

2009-09-07T18:57:00.006+08:00

Sent: 11:56pm September 05, 2009

Alam ko mali na sabihin ko pa to ngayon pero 'di ko talaga matiis, I miss you. Miss ko na 'yung kwentuhan natin, 'yung asaran, tawanan. 'Di ako nagsisisi na nakilala kita, 'di rin ako nagsisisi sa mga nangyari satin. Naging maligaya ako sa mga pagkakataon na kausap kita, sana ganun ka rin... Marami nang mga pangako ang 'di natupad, pero kahit na ganun ayaw ko na mabaliwala ang friendship natin. Kahit 'di mo na ako kausapin o 'di na kita kausapin, tandaan mo nandito lang ako lagi para sayo handang tumulong at makinig kapag kailangan mo. Ingat ka palagi ha.

Broken

2009-09-05T14:54:00.000+08:00

Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky
Then it starts to rain, my defenses hit the ground
And they shatter all around, so open and exposed
I found strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken

Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up
Hitting walls and getting scars
Only makes you who you are
No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking

Better days are gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place

When you're broken, when you're broken

Mind Tickling Questions of Kim Charles...

2009-09-04T20:47:00.002+08:00

According to Economics, "demand... willing and able..." what if isa lang ang pwede, or worse, none at all?

According to Mathematics, "Everything should be in its simplest form." Simplest form? Just the word simplest is still very complex...

General Science, "Unlike poles attract, like poles repel," does that mean you and the person you like cannot be together?

Sabi sa Geometry, "Exactly two points determine a line." What if mag-isa ka lang? Paano 'yung line?

According to Physics, "A certain action will meet an equal and opposite reaction" E bakit minsan, wala naman nabalik sayo?

Sabi sa A.S.T., " 'Pag nagtanim ka, may tutubo" e bakit madalas wala?

Sabi sa Home Economics, "Tikman mo lang, malalaman mo kung pwede na." Paano kung sa pagtikim mo, mapaso naman ang dila mo?

According to Physical Education, "Classical conditioning is the thing you need." Pwede bang kondisyunin ang sarili na tiisin ang sakit na nagmumula sa puso?

Sabi sa Homeroom , "Life is a matter of give and take." So if one gives his heart to another person, is that other person obliged to take his heart?

Think hard for the answers, perhaps it might help you.

Calculating lies and masking the ugly truth

2009-09-04T19:32:00.001+08:00

Not-so-triumphant-win

2009-09-03T21:40:00.001+08:00

Batchmates, let us all try to be civilized. Let us not lower ourselves to their levels. Sour graping: you can always hate what you don't have. They did not win so they hate us for what we got. 'Di naman tayo ang kwawa e, hayaan na natin sila. That is the most they can do to lessen their depression. -Vivien Romo

My Bad... Not!

2009-09-02T20:56:00.001+08:00

Okay. I'm becoming a BITCH again >:)

I knew it!

2009-09-02T20:51:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA! I knew it!

Never trust someone that you really don't know personally and never doubt your instincts! I know that I shouldn't be affected with the 'thing' that the two of you have, but it bugs me to know that you said to me that you wouldn't dare have a relationship with him ever again. Weird (with my French accent)

Lunch Break

2009-09-02T12:01:00.001+08:00

Championship resumes at 2pm. I went home to eat lunch, but unfortunately something bad happened and I don't want to talk about it.

2009-08-31T21:29:00.002+08:00

Today, Palarong Rural (Intramurals) officially started. It was really fun because one can really see the unity which my batch forgot when we were in second year and in third year. Every one is rooting for his batchmates and all is just having fun! Really no pressure...

The most awaited cheering competition will happen tomorrow from 4pm-6pm. I can't wait! This is our last chance to win that FRIGGING cheer dance. Lord guide and save my batchmates from harm. Thank You!

NO ACADS for one whole week! Ohyeah!

2009-08-30T08:48:00.000+08:00

She: I think it is time that I let you to go. This time I'm sure of it.

Your Love Is...

2009-08-28T00:06:00.003+08:00

your love is like a needle peircing my heart,
just like a knife it rips it apart,
again it goes through in and out,
it's killing me slowly without a doubt,

my mind tells me it's enough,
it's not worth it, being this tough,
but my heart makes me stay,
and i sit in misery each day,

your love is like a gun to my head,
just one shot and i'd be dead,
again it's held waiting,
the barrel still rotating,

i'm sliding into the void of despair,
even if you knew you wouldn't care
i'm trying to block it out like everyone tries,
so i'll pretend to be fine and wipe my eyes,

again it's held wating,
but the barrel stopped rotating,
again it went through in and out,
he's killed me slowly without a doubt.

Saying sorry

2009-08-26T21:27:00.003+08:00

I found a really nice poem. It's about saying sorry. I want to post it here, it's just that I wasn't able to finish copying it :]]]]]

2009-08-24T19:15:00.000+08:00

Your presence still lingers here, and it wont leave me alone...

2009-08-22T21:18:00.002+08:00

Would you hold my hand even if it's multi-colored?

heartless

2009-08-22T11:53:00.003+08:00

He: Do you want me to go?

She: NO.

'Di ka naman mawawala 'di ba?

He: No, 'di ako mawawala.

Attention readers!

2009-08-19T17:22:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHA....

I'd be posting new poems... Soon.

too bad you knew me when i wasn't ready

2009-08-18T22:18:00.002+08:00

I was listening to Meg & Dia's Masterpiece when all of a sudden I remembered Salvi...

Anjo Salvador, Salvi as I fondly called him, was a friend of mine. He was special to me. I think I was still in grade 6 when I met him. Gawd he looked really hot! He also looked cute in braces (plus factor):D ... At first we were just friends, casual text mates. My cousins and sister liked him too, as in like like. Gets? Hahaha. My cousin asked Anjo why he doesn't have a girlfriend at that time sagot ba naman, "Inaantay ko lang pinsan n'yo." Like what the fvk! Man he was like 18 when I was in grade 6! Plus we already lost communication even before I entered high school. Past. Tssk

I miss him...

Too bad you knew me when I wasn't ready...

good-bye, my poor deluded, lost and damned!

2009-08-13T23:53:00.001+08:00

This is really the end. I will not talk to you ever again...

Heaven is angry...

2009-08-12T21:53:00.002+08:00

It's raining again here in LB. I think it's raining all over the world right now. Ikr, stupid imagination. Lol...

I was expecting to see the meteor shower, but boo me I didn't know the time that the "shower" would start. I guess it's already over...

I played basketball today. Very very tiring, as in define.......... I still can't shoot the ball from the three-points line.

Mad

2009-08-12T21:52:00.001+08:00

I'm mad at my Dad... He is aware that I'm mad at him. He already said sorry but still I am annoyed at the things that he did. Stupid. Tsk

Frustrated and Annoyed

2009-08-08T20:55:00.004+08:00

I went to school kanina, I think I arrived there at 11:25am, and I thought that there would be free lunch for our batch. Boo me I was wrong. I texted my Dad and asked him to bring me food, I know it's a drag. Tskk... While waiting for him I rewrite my Economics notes and lull myself with heart piercing songs (OA.ahaha)... I was watching my batchmates practice for the cheering competion and all of a sudden I got frustrated and annoyed at them. You see they don't take the practice seriously, there's more time for breaks than for practices (in my opinion lang naman), perhaps if you're there you'd get annoyed too...

I went to the gym and watched the volleyball game and played soccer instead. Imagine yourself kicking and aiming for the goal wearing no studs, yeah I was just in my slippers! That's how frustrated and annoyed I was! Sorry Chin-chin, you were the goal keeper kanina and I was putting so much energy at the ball. Sorry, I know that you weren't able to handle it. Sorry sorry sorry...

Good thing there was Fiona, my very talkative niece, she brightened my day :D Today is Lolo's birthday, 9oth birthday actually. He's now in heaven, 9 years in heaven I think... I miss him badly... I'm still nanghihinayang because there was no military honors given to you in your necrological. Anyway, past is past and I should just pray for your safety and happiness there in heaven.

---

Typical me

2009-08-08T10:42:00.000+08:00

I missed another training. Typical me. Tskk. Again I woke up late. Training starts at 7:30am, it's already quarter to 11...

I'll head straight to school instead. Oh well. Toodles!

to music and the piano

2009-08-07T21:11:00.003+08:00

That which enslaves the piano sets free the mind of the pianist. That which silences the melody that yearns to outpour enables the quiet flow of emotions breaking free. From the times of silence to grief to joy to anger, the pianist is one with the piano, plucking out the different tunes to create a harmony of surprising likeness and contrast. Whether words accompany the melody or the tones sing to their own beat, that which comes out from the strings is an ode to emotions felt by the one playing. Each pleading tone leads to a crescendo at which the peak is the multitude of themes set together to provide an ensemble cascading down with such forces that overwhelms the flow of notes. And though the melody slowly dies away, the memory of the aria is set free in the minds of the listeners where the tones could play on for forever.

wala na sa tono

2009-08-06T22:39:00.004+08:00

sa 'sang simpleng text, lahat ay nagsimula
nabuo ang pangarap na makasama
ang tanging taong sa'ki'y nakaintindi
nangakong mananatili sa'king tabi

paghanga kong naging tunay na pag-ibig
sabayan mo kaya ng sariling himig?
ang musika na galing sa aking puso
nanghaharana at kumakatok sa'yo

nagtiis, naghangad, mapansin mo lamang
heto, nandito lang, laging nag-aabang
oras, taon, habambuhay ma'y intayin,
umaasang ako'y mamahalin mo rin

pero nagtapos na ang alay mong kanta
lahat ng nadama, nauwi sa wala
pangako ng pag-ibig na 'yong pinako
dala ng hanging ng tadhana palayo

pinagsakluban na ba ako ng itaas?
nasa'n na, sabi mong pag-ibig na wagas?
sagot sa mga katanungan ko'y wala
alaalang 'di na maibabalik pa

at sa tuwing ikaw ay mapagmamasdan
napupuno ng emosyon, 'king isipan
mga emosyong 'di maipaliwanag
pero puso ko ay ikaw lang ang tawag

ngunit tapos na ang mga alaala
mas masakit kung gugunitain ko pa
at dahil sumusuko na ang puso ko,
ito lang ang aking masasabi sa'yo

"susubukan kong ikaw ay kalimutan
aalisin sa isip ang nakaraan
babawiin, inalay na puso sa'yo
aking pusong 'yong winasak at binigo"

'pagkat naputol na ang string ng gitara
at namaos na ang boses sa pagkanta
pag-ibig na dati'y puno ng pangako
mali na sa himig, wala na sa tono

sa aking unang pag-ibig

2009-08-06T22:35:00.001+08:00

ako
ang agila
na nagnanais kumawala
sa haraya
ng bawat walang muwang na bata

ang magandang musikang
hindi mo maririnig
ngunit hayaan mong kulayan ito
ng aking mga pinsel

ang pakpak
ang pakpak ng pangarap
na napugto
nang ako'y mangahas
na makipagsapalaran sa malayo

ang tula
na isinulat sa puti at bughaw
nang makita ang nakaraan
sa kasalukuyan
at sa darating na hinaharap

ang pag-aasam
na nasa puso ng bawat isa
na isinantabi
sa pagdaan ng mga taon

sa akin na lamang
magugunita
ang bukang-liwayway
kapag ang lahat
ay bumalik sa abo

sa pagbitaw mo sa akin
ako na ang sari-saring kulay
ng puti at itim
---

o-oh

2009-08-06T21:00:00.002+08:00

just when i thought that the suffering was over. here it comes again...

o-oh i feel weird right now. my heart is in pain. i really thought that i was over him. really, just a simple action of affection from him makes my heart thud and shiver... i really thought that the arable land that i have reserved for him was now occupied by memories that overthrown my feelings for him.

you're still that same old guy that makes me panicky when you have problems.... shit! Josh you're making me sick! i'm so not liking this situation right now

lantang rosas

2009-08-06T20:20:00.003+08:00

nag-umpisa sa 'sang buto ng paghanga
namulaklak at sumibol nang kay ganda
pulang rosas ng halo-halong damdamin
unti-unting tumubo at lumago sa'kin

'di mapaliwanag ang nararamdaman
sa tuwing ikaw ay aking pagmamasdan
na para bang 'ko'y lumulutang sa ulap
kasama ang isang bituing kumikislap

isang pangarap ka mang maituturing
sana'y matupad ka, ito'ng aking hiling
at hindi na maging isang ilusyon pa
ang 'yong mukhang nakangiti't nakatawa

ngunit mga linggo't araw ay nagdaan
na naging taon pagkatapos maging b'wan
dating mansanas kong lasa'y sobrang tamis
na binulok ng panahon at hinagpis

posas, sayawan at pagtext ng "musta na?"
nasa'n na, tanging alaala na lang ba?
ang makasama ka'y, tanging kagustuhan
na naging bulang pumutok sa kawalan

sana, kahit papaano, mapansin mo
itong hangarin kong mapalapit sa'yo
'wag sana'ng maging anino sa paningin
o isa lamang dumaraan na hangin

tinik na galing sa rosas ng alaala
bubunutin ko't muling magsisimula
hindi ako mawawalan ng pag-asa
bubuuing muli, mundong gumuho na

sisikaping ayusin, pusong nabigo
sana, ngayo'y, diligan ng pag-ibig mo
sapagkat ako ay isang lantang rosas
na sa'yo lang, tanging puso'y naka-posas

matang lumuluha

2009-08-06T20:04:00.002+08:00

isang kaibigang tunay ang nagtiis
dinaanan ang pagsubok at hinagpis
ang dating pagmamahal na walang lumbay
akala'y pag-ibig na panghabambuhay

masakit man sa kanyang puso at isip
hangin ng tadhana ganyan 'pag umihip
nakaraan ay pilit kakalimutan
masayang alaala kanyang iiwan

susubukan niyang maging mas masaya
kahit ang mundo'y tuluyang gumuho na
'di alam kung ano ang mararamdaman
ganito ba talaga, pusong nasaktan?

sana, p'wede kong balikan, sabi niya
mga pinagsamahan at alaala
gintong oras at pangarap na nabuo
nasa'n na, ngayo'y pag-ibig mo'y naglaho

have you?

2009-08-06T19:57:00.002+08:00

have you ever felt
the world tumble down?
have you ever felt
the moving, shaking ground?

have you ever experienced
being shifted like a piece
on a chess board?
have you experienced being a little bird left to
fly on its own in the world?

yes, maybe
most of us have
but why let it get you,
when you can live, love and laugh?

I'm really not aware if people are reading my blogs :]]]]

2009-08-06T19:50:00.003+08:00

superheroes and magic carpets
a magic kingdom and a magic forest
neverwhere, everywhere, and anywhere
dear reader, we will take you there
castles in the sand or built in stone
a memory that we've always known
stars that shine so brightly in the sky
the moon is smiling with gleaming eyes
let's escape, creep inside a sandcastle
escape on a horse from a carousel
stroll along the beach and look for seashells
sanctuaries built from golden sand
architecture of a little child's hand
no, these castles will not last
days go by and nights will pass
closer and closer, the waves of the sea
are coming to break the sandcastles free
still standing, the tower is falling
the life we live is slowly fading
life is a sandcastle, it will was away
even golden fortresses will not stay
some memories, though, will forever remain

Finally!

2009-08-02T20:56:00.000+08:00

Done with the mind whacking UPCAT! >:)

UPCAT time baby!

2009-08-02T10:07:00.001+08:00

May God bless me :]

Good luck Seniors for the UPCAT! Go for 100%!

2009-07-31T20:25:00.001+08:00

Still remember our chant?

We're here to start a legacy :]

Me wants to sleep!

2009-07-30T19:52:00.001+08:00

Akap - Imago

2009-07-29T21:06:00.005+08:00

During Physics time I didn't listen to Ma'am Naredo's lecture (half of it) but instead I read the folio entitled Sandcastles. The said folio is a compilation of different literary pieces created by Ruralites and other unknown/anonymous writers (but definitely he/she/they are connected to my school) and was organized by the Journalism Circle club of UPRHS. I'd like to share the things that I find interesting in that particular folio...

Here's an excerpt from the foreword of the creators of the folio:

Writing is a skill, not a talent, which means everyone can acquire it at any given chance. However, when you create written works with your own style and your emotions poured into it, that is more than just a skill. A written piece is just a bunch of words unless it is owned by the author by putting himself or herself into it, and a written piece is just a piece until completed through reaching others... -- I agree :]

I'll be posting more, perhaps tomorrow but for now I have to go to bed. Toodles!

Dumb-Dumber-Dumbest

2009-07-27T17:03:00.003+08:00

My sister and her friends told me that I should stop reviewing for the upcoming UPCAT. According to them the test is really easy and it just comprises the basic things that one learns in high school and of course stored knowledge...

The school's administration is really concerned with the decline in the percentile of the CETRA results. The administration, uhh well Ma'am Carascal thought that the seniors should have shortened classes for this week and more time for review. From Tuesday to Thursday the school would facilitate a 2hr-review from 3pm-5pm and our classes would just be from 7am-3pm. Fair? Sure.

Also on Friday there will be a mass at St. There's, intentional mass, for my batch... Lord guidance please :D

UPCAT

2009-07-26T17:10:00.003+08:00

Countdown for UPCAT is now on!

Gaaaaaah! Hell yeah I'm nervous, but not that much. I'm just worried because UPCAT is the only test that I'll take for college; UPCAT or nothing. Tskkk

I'm planning to take Political Science at UP Diliman, yes I'll pursue Law :D (hopefully). My second choice at Diliman is European Languages. My second campus is LB and I chose Veterinary Medicine and Nutrition. I'm excited to graduate high school and enter college. New experiences! Yeah!

Facebook-ing

2009-07-26T16:58:00.002+08:00

Lately I've been hooked to Facebook specifically its games applications. It all started when I didn't go to school last Thursday because of course I was sick. Boredom struck and there I made a Facebook account and the rest is history. Lol

Right now I'm playing Restaurant City; currently level 6 :D... I also play Pet Society. My pet's name is Pan and she's now at level 12.

Mighty @ 80

2009-07-24T21:54:00.004+08:00

My school, University of the Philippines Rural High School, celebrated its 80th anniversary today. Of course there were no classes, as in the whole school celebrated its foundation day. In my case, I only attended the afternoon program because I became shitty in the morning, very sick. My temperature got really high, ayon 'di tuloy agad nakapasok... According to my classmates there were lots of Filipino games and stuffs.

I arrived in Rural at around 1:10pm (?). I helped in the Registration Committee table because I don't know where to go HAHA. I gave my cam to Denise and then she passed it on to Rudolph (Rudolph's the one who asked me to bring the cam ;]). I then saw lots of oldies kanina, haha...

While I was staring at the tarpaulins posted at the lower lobby I realized how famous Rural's alumni became. I'm not being biased dudes :]]]] for example there's this gal who is now the CEO of Enchanted Kingdom (thanks to her for that wonderful fireworks display), another is Tita Merle - if you're from LB you'll recognize her store, Mernel's. Also Ebe Dancel (vocalist of sugarfree) and Antonio "Tony" Mabesa (currently Lolo Samual of GMA 7's Adik Sa'yo) are also alumni of my school. And would you believe that even the whole UP system's president, Emerlinda Roman, graduated from UPRHS? Cool right?... I think the oldest alumnae that came was from batch 1948, if I calculated it right she's now 77 years old :D

The ground breaking of the new building was also held kanina then followed by the program and lots of hair rising and goose bumps from the glee club (they sang with the alumni.goosebumps all over). Different people, as in define high authorities from UPLB and UP system talked and said their speech...

After the welcome program the most awaited Talentadong Ruralite was held! Geez it was really cool! Chino del Mundo (4th year) won! He juggled four tennis balls and two baseball bats. Second placer was of course yoyo man Dominic Santos (He's my classmate that's why I'm really proud)! Last was Cedric (3rd year) who played the piano while he was blindfolded.

Yeah Ruralites are not just smart, Ruralites are also talented!